dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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