i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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