tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
