Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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