I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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