Don't you send me to vm
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
