At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
