Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At least life still wants to fuck me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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