Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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