You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My feet surprised me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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