do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
