Where is the hickey?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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