Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
