Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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