Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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