I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
