I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
