we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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