Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
