if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
