Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you had me at cake vodka
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
