why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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