At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Send help, water and tortillas.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
