When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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