Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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