I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
