so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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