He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
