Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
