My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
