Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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