my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
