I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
