we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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