Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
