Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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