on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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