We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
need another drink. this is the easiest way
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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