the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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