But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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