Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
