Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
