p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
