you guys were way drunker than both of me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
