It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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