Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
