Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He passed out mid-signature
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
