I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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