I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wanna go halves on a baby?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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