apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
